worrrrrd.

i'm busy. but am i really busy? or am i busy doing things that make me feel busy, when i'm not actually getting anything done? heh.

sometimes you have to wonder, "is this really what's meant to be occurring?" but then, i respond, well, yeah, it is, because it's happening. so whatever's happening now is what should be happening. even if it sucks, it's great, it's boring, it's whatever. our perception doesn't change the reality of now. or does it? our perception can mask reality, try to make it what we think it ought to be, should be, what we want it to be, but really, there's a constant of the universe that exists whether we like it or not. i believe that there is a capital T Truth and it's up to use to acknowledge, live, and stand for it.

i have no idea where that came from. i guess that's what happens when you don't really have anything to say, but you decide to blog.

anyway, i've been realizing some really great things. there are all these decisions i've made over the course of my life to make my life what it is. i've spent a lot of time thinking that life has happened to me to make me what i am, when really i have the choice to choose sanity over insanity. life isn't just something that washes over me and makes me helpless in my current situation. i really have the ability to connect with others and make a decision in a direction that helps me to be me, the effective human being that i was made to be.

yessssir.